The earliest recorded history of an organised fark concept dates back to 1890 when Ron L Farquhar (founding farker) established the Australian division of the Royal Order of the Fark at the mouth of Farkers Creek where it empties into Botany Bay in Southern Sydney. The movement quickly swept across the Australian landscape and back to the British Isles.
By the early 1900’s it had spread across the Channel to the land of the frog-eating French and Pierre deFarkican, Farquis of Bourhaneuf grabbed the bull by the horns and turned it into an international organisation, now known as the International Order of the Fark (IOF).
Initially growth was slow, but it picked up as a result of the First World War. WW1 (which at that stage it wasn’t called WW1) supplied the impetus that saw the Fark movement sweep across the face of the earth.
In 1921, the British Fark association applied for and received from George the 5th an elevation in status to the Royal Order of the Fark, which in turn was conferred on the Australian Chapter in 1931.
At about the same time, that other branch of the Fark phenomenon, marxist farkism also began it’s fruitless march toward world domination. It’s interesting to look back and see which of the two movements is still alive and kicking 100 years later.
WW1 was the war we had to have to get both the Fark and marxist farkism movements going. In actual fact, Lenin, short of hearing and confused from his years in the Russian artillery was reported to have mistook the work ‘fark’ for Marx’ and the rest, as they say is history. He completely farked up.
Between 1914 and 1918 there were millions of soldiers of many nationalities farking in trenches across Europe and through to Mesopotamia, who on returning home formed the nucleus of the fark brotherhood of friendship that has spread throughout the world.
From 1935-45, Hitler and Goebbels did their best to fark things up completely by trying to force their own brand of narzist farkism on the rest of the world. Luckily they were farked over by Churchill, Stalin and Roosevelt. After the war, the original and authentic fark movement went ahead in leaps and bounds.
In the late 1990’s, Tony Fark swept into power on the coat-tails of the old-fark movement and immediately proceeded to call it the new-fark movement. Having his cabinet exposed as a bunch of farkers more intent on farking themselves stupid in their offices, in hotels and Iraq completely farked him up.
Of course when it came to his mate on the other side of the Atlantic, George W Fark, farked up everything he touched.
Anyhow, despite these political blips on the pixilated screen, at the start of the new millennium people are farking all over, from Boston to Balham, from Bosnia to Belfast, Beirut to Bali. They’re farking every where, particularly those catholic priests in Boston.
To cut a long story short the International Order of the Fark (IOF) has overseen the establishment of chapters in 25,535 cities and towns in 105 countries.
In 1948, the International Secretariat of the IOF was established in Fark Park in Lausanne where it now stands in pride of place on Farker’s Hill Road with a majestic, elevated vista of the Jet d’Eau on Lake Geneva, overlooking the building of the International Olympic Federation.
In 2006, International Executive Committee member from India, Mahatma Khots signed a formal declaration with UN Secretary General Kofi Annan to fark the world over by 2020.
Throughout the 19th Century the Australian Division of the Royal Order of the Fark was steadily gaining ground. In 1921, First World War veteran, Captain Robert Farquhar established the national secretariat of the Order at 63 Sydney Road in the Melbourne suburb of Brunswick.
Situated near the Sarah Sands Hotel, the office is now a shop run by the descendants of one Vincent De Paul.
In 1994, with the support of the Australian Government the Australian Division of the Royal Order of the Fark moved to Canberra, the National Capital, a fitting host city for a prestigious national organisation. Land granted by the Government permitted the Council to build a swish suite of offices in Deakin with space for other tenants. With a good rental income the financial future of the council seems assured. As a result, the amount of farking being done in the national capital has increased enormously in the last few years, firstly with the advent of the Howard/Ruddock Government and then the Rod Laver and Gillard governments.
The Central Committee of the Royal Order of the Fark and it’s seven advisory boards meet regularly around Australia on Council business. All appointments to the Central Committee and it’s advisory boards are life-time appointments made by the Central Committee on a grace and favour basis. The appointments system section of the Council’s constitution has been modelled on and lifted directly from the curia of the Cuban Communist Party, the Vatican State and the International Olympic Committee.
As a means of funding its activities, the Royal Order established a marketing division to license and promote the sale of the Fark range of merchandise. This has come through the leveraged buyout of Fark Designs, a fashion and design firm, ironically located in Brunswick, original Australian home of the Royal Order.
This merger has led to the Australian Division achieving a dominant position in this aspect of farking, selling Fark merchandise worldwide. Made in China and sold in Australia, (shades of caught Marsh, bowled Lillee!) has proven to be a successful combination and led to the internationalization of the trademarked brands. The Royal Order of the Fark is now raking it in from all over the world and providing more and more jobs for the Chinese.
The proceeds from the merchandise program were originally earmarked for charitable works in the community but since 1990 have been used exclusively for first class trips overseas to international conferences by members of the Australian Committee. Calls for nominations from outside the Central Committee for trips are made from time to time with farkers being accepted for Australian representation on the basis of their ability in each of the disciplines in the Fark Pentathlon; kowtowing, brown nosing, suckholing, palm greasing and head turning.
National Executive Director of the Royal Order of the Fark is Frank Farquhar, grandson of former Australian Head Farker, Robert Farquhar.
As Head Farker, Frank Farquhar has a seat on the Grand Council to the International Board which meets three times a year in flash pubs around the world. The AOF wishes to formally recognise the generous support received from it’s major travel partner, overseas airline, Gen-Italia.
2014 WORLD CONGRESS
The 2014 World Congress will be held in China at the Shizuishan (with cashew) Hyatt and registration information will shortly be available to farkers who wish to nominate. No false starts are allowed.
You should be able to click here to view details of the National Office and State Divisions, but the link is currently not operational.
You automatically become a member of the Australian Division of the Royal Order of the Fark (and reserve your seat on the fark gravy train) when you sign up to receive the Royal Order of the Fark.
So, fark up. Become a member of the world-wide fark brotherhood by completing the Fark Australia optin form on our home page or downloading the ring tone. You’ll be able to commune with farkers around the world.